Today, I fucked up… by thinking my cat wanted to sleep next to me

I woke up less than an hour ago to hissing and barking. I then heard my bluetick coonhound jump down from the bed and felt the tabby cat run up my spine and sit on my head. (Normally, my dog and cat will compete for bed real estate to be closer to my face/head. Usually, it is a rather quiet event. ) The dog was still agitated, and I told her in a half-mumble to go to her crate. She didn’t. She kept barking as the cat hissed and jumped to the window sill. I then turned on my lamp that was almost knocked down in the process to see just what was going on.

“It is early morning, damnit! I want to get some sleeeeeeeepoooooooholyshit!”

My cat was not a cat. It was a large scared raccoon.

I would leave my body